Birthdays in heaven

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imageI wish Tazzy could see how much he is missed. My phone and timeline has been inundated with birthday posts. The funny thing? It’s not even my birthday; it’s his. I thought about him the other day, and didn’t cry. A few minutes later, I burst into tears, because I convinced myself that “not crying” was the first step to forgetting him. 7 months after his death, his birthday is being talked about. People are smiling at his pictures. “Not crying” simply means healing. It doesn’t mean moving on.

My team is amazing. We’ve all had a rough few months. My friend suffered the inconprehensible loss of her a young horse and that shook us all to the core. You’re not supposed to have 2 dead horses in a matter of months. She didn’t have to go. Losing Yellow should’ve been enough. We decided to throw ourselves a real life pity party – complete with food and wine. We were going to allow ourselves to “whine” and party like it was 1999.

And we did. We ate, and laughed. We decided that life wasn’t fair, and jammed out to the Backstreet boys and old Usher love songs. We didn’t solve any problems, or figure out why bad things happen to good people. We just spent a few hours with humans who got it. Those who know its never just a horse, and rather than offer sympathetic advice, they hug you and let you have your feelings. It was the best form of therapy and healing we could’ve ever imagined.

Tazzy – I hope birthdays in heaven are filled with twizzlers. We all miss you, bud.

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